Friday, June 28, 2013

Coaching into Consciousness

It is my opinion that working with a coach requires vulnerability… a deep, self exposing vulnerability.  For it is in the acknowledgement that we have tried all sorts of different approaches to solving a problem, or making a change, and we can reach out for someone else’s support and clarity to move forward.  This takes courage, to admit we are stuck, we do not know how to proceed, and courage to try something new. 
As a coach, it is such an honor to work with a person when they are open and vulnerable.  It is such an honor to walk with them for a while, and hold the space for them to uncover what is wanting to emerge, and to ask the deep questions that bring forth the path.  It is an honor to witness someone uncovering themselves and discovering their truth. 

The challenge is in developing the skills for this vulnerability to stay open over extended periods of time.  When we are truly open and vulnerable, our presence is awakened and our ability to create change and see a new direction is possible.  As a coach who works primarily with this awakening process, it is amazing seeing the glimmers appear more and more often, and the skills deepen in lengthening this experience. 

Then the real magic happens.  Once we are in that awakened place, there is consciousness.  From consciousness, the ability to address relationships, parenting, work issues, money, and all of our challenges in our lives, are simplified.  They become opportunities and possibilities, instead of obstacles.  Life becomes a playground with constant amazing discoveries and adventures.

For me, there is nothing I would rather do than co-create levels of consciousness with another person and experience their clarity on what they want for themselves.  It is a gift guide the soul into presence, coaching into consciousness and creating magic from that place.  For life around us is only a mirror to what we experience from within, and bridging the gap between our soul and our lives is essential and fun to do once we become motivated and curious to go there.

Celebrate vulnerability, courage, and consciousness…. May they be your guides ever present guides!



Friday, June 21, 2013

Follow the Energy

Follow the Energy.  This is a line I learned from Alan Seale, a magnificent coach out on the East Coast.  Over the last few weeks, I have found it most useful when I am working with clients looking at deep change. 

Yesterday I worked with a brilliant college graduate who has phenomenal academic skills and is flustered about how to get out there and start working.  We talked about the pressure to get a real, full time job and start the process of building a “grown up” life… making the money for a nice place to live, starting to accumulate furniture and building a home, and having money for clothes and entertainment.  So alluring after four years as a struggling college student!

Yet there is the reality that we have many, many years of work and home building ahead of us and often the urge to anchor and settle is premature.  It is my opinion that the 20’s are a time of exploration and mistakes, lessons, and experiences.  All meant to practice skills discovered or transferred from other areas.  For this student, it was important to look at transferring the strong skills in academics and performance into building skills in independence and deeper self awareness.

It was a beautiful process to capture on paper all the existing skills, passions, and challenges that came to mind during our call and then look at where the energy exists.  The words sort of jump out in order when asked to present themselves…what is here, what wants more attention?   Identifying the next skills to build became easy and then it turned into fun, as we talked about challenging the universe to unfold a path towards those skills.  “Put it out there” was my advice, make some calls, post on Facebook, explore the internet and look for the energy.  Where there is immediate response, step in and follow it.  Allow the emerging energy to take you to a place you could not have dreamed of yourself.  Allow yourself to be surprised, and then the most important part:  Step into it!  Let the energy guide you.

This is a practice.  Opening up and asking for the next step, then paying attention with every fiber of your being and listening to the whispers, see the cues, and feel the coincidences.  Feel the presence of joy.  Follow the energy.  Let it take you into the change you desire. 

Life is an adventure, allow the adventure to happen.

Friday, June 14, 2013

Little Kids Within

Last weekend Ted and I camped out at the end of an old logging road, on the shores of a little mountain lake.  We explored the lake in my kayak, fished a little, and watched the sunset.  We cooked over the fire and enjoyed the mesmerizing flames deep into the night.  In the morning we played in the lake and laid in the sun to dry.  We picked dandelions to make tea, watched butterflies, and we lazed late into the afternoon before returning home.  Time disappeared and we both felt the magical peace of the lake and the sun.

My favorite line from the trip came from Ted at breakfast.  He sipped his tea and leaned back in his chair, and said as he smiled from ear to ear “this is amazing, I feel like I am eight years old! The coolest part is, I can drive and I have money!”

When the two of us are out on our weekend adventures we are both eight year olds.  He is solidly in his little boy energy and I am solidly in my little tom girl energy, by design.  We left our adult selves at home and took off, taking our two inner kids on an adventure.  It is in the recognition of the kids within us that we match our energy and we are at our best. 

Both Ted and I have enjoyed discovering these balanced happy little kids within.  As our relationship has developed, we have done the work on identifying what persona’s we take on when we are out of balance, and when we are in balance.  And we have learned tools to keep ourselves in balance as much as possible.

Let me explain.  For me, when I am in my head, trying to do a lot of things, make a lot of things happen, and trying to control more and more, I hold the energy of an out of balance adult male.  My energy is focused on pushing, accomplishing, and efforting.  These are old behaviors of mine and as I recognize them, I have the choice of shifting into seeing the world through the eyes of a child, the eyes of a little girl.  When I am there I soften, and become more inclined to watch and see what happens.  I become more curious.  I allow life so much more.  And I am more playful.

There is a way to decipher what kind of persona we take on when we are in and out of balance.  We can choose to be an adult, a parent, or a child, male or female.  Each has their own ways of acting out and seeing things.  Exploring this is a great tool for catching ourselves and redirecting ourselves back into balance.  Sharing this information with the ones you love provides a playful way of meeting in our balanced states of being and creating more joy in our relationships. 

For Ted and I, we know when Teddy and Niecie get together, we are kind and patient with each other, and there is going to be fun and adventure!

Life is an ongoing adventure!
Enjoy it!